jojo
Health
03 / 2021

Managing a Relationship During Lockdown When Living Apart

Long-distance relationships are hard enough without having to run them smoothly during a lockdown. But, relationships are one of those things that the pandemic has affected greatly, nevertheless, that does not mean you should bail on them. There are ways to have a successful long-distance relationship during lockdown.

Sure, some relationships after lockdown could not make it, but the good news is that there is a handful that actually thrived. With lockdown relationships apart, it is the little things that count and that is what we are going to look into. So, if you are keen on how to keep a long-distance relationship alive during lockdown, this article is for you. 

Why it is vital to sustain a healthy relationship

This may seem like a no-brainer, but have you ever really sat down to contemplate why it is important to maintain a healthy relationship, with or without COVID in the picture. Relationships of all kinds make up a big part of our lives, but romantic relationships have a more tangible impact on how we carry ourselves. Sure, it is not healthy to hang all your self-worth in a relationship, but many people do it anyway.

But, let's not go into that toxic stuff, healthy relationships have numerous short and long-term effects on your all-around wellbeing. Just talking to that special person at the end of the day can reduce stress drastically. Even more, knowing that you have a solid support system can give you a sense of purpose and increase your quality of life. As an extension of that, maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship during COVID is one way to cater to yours and your significant other’s all-around wellness. 

Needless to say, being in a long-distance relationship during the lockdown brings a whole new set of issues to the table. Best believe it is hard for couples who stay under the same roof, talkless of those who are miles away. But, it's a trying time and the perfect opportunity for both you and your partner to step up to the plate. 

Not being able to physically see or touch your loved one can be maddening at times. But hopefully, that will not be the focal point of your frustration, you and your partner can still support each other in different ways. Sit tight for more specific long-distance relationship Coronavirus tips. 

How to Managing a Relationship During & After Lockdown When Living Apart

1. Put a positive spin on the time apart

Especially if you are married or cohabitating, it is hard to get any personal time. Your partner will constantly be in your space and you'll have to make a conscious effort to attend to their needs as well as yours. That's not a bad thing at all, especially if you are doing it for someone you love. But, as a human being, there's that need to just crawl into your cocoon and recharge. Who doesn't like a little me-time once in a while?

Given that the lockdown duration is probably a lot more than the couple of days you need to recharge, this may seem harder. No one is saying it's going to be easy, after a few days, you are bound to miss your snuggle buddy, but you can try to put a positive spin on it for your own sanity. Take that time to sleep in, watch movies you enjoy, read, walk around the house naked or simply cook something adventurous. 

Before you know it, the time will pass by and you would have filled it with things you hadn't experienced on your own in a while. 

2. Communication is key

Even when you're in the same space, communicating is a must if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. So, you can't skimp on this front while you're in a long-distance relationship with no definite meet up date. Lockdowns have a way of bringing this intense sense of loneliness and despair with them, so don't leave your partner to ruminate on their thoughts alone. In an ideal world, communication would flow effortlessly every single day, but that's not the case. 

With that in mind, it's not a bad idea to schedule video calls, or chats depending on your different schedules. No, that does not take the fun out of it, if you love someone you'll most likely find conversation topics that can keep you going for a while. And even though it doesn't end up being a 5-hour conversation, just hearing from your significant other makes the rest of the day more bearable. 

Thank heavens for technology, there are now so many platforms that give you ample ways to share the highs and lows of your day. Here's the thing, you need to know when it's too much, don't overcrowd the other person. As much as you are an important part of their life, they can't give you every waking minute of their time. Likewise, you can't give them yours, so this is not the time to get upset because the other person took 2 hours to message you back. Respect their time and make the most of the time you share together. 

3. Do things together 

It's the 21st century, so thankfully you can engage in shared activities without being in the same place. A simple Google search will avail you of all the wonderful things you can try together, but we'll do you one better by telling you a few as we go on. The great thing about doing things together is that it introduces a sense of normalcy to the chaos the pandemic brings with it. For instance, you could cook together, which may have been something you did when the lockdown didn't impose any restrictions. 

You could equally download apps like Netflix party, which allows you to watch movies at the same time. It'll be just as if you were having your own movie night. This will come in handy if you were wondering how to be romantic during lockdown. Distance does not have to put a stop to your regular date nights, cook something tasty, wear something nice, and have a good time with your partner. 

Altogether, do not allow the distance to bring on any complacency, you can still do things with your partner and work on aspects of your relationship that need a boost. That leads us to the next point. 

4. Put in the work

Some people may take distance as an excuse to not do any of the heavy lifting in the relationship anymore. The thing is, if you have any issues, they will still be waiting for you when the lockdown is lifted, so, why wait. You have loads of time to patch and tweak areas of your relationship that need it the most. The great thing is that you can get all the help you need in the comfort of your home. Let's say you need to spice things up in the bedroom, sources like BetterHelp.com can give you a nudge in the right direction. 

No one is going to fix your relationship if you don't take the first step and then let them in. So, the lockdown may prove beneficial if you want to get therapy of any type or simply point out areas you each need to go back to the drawing back on. Note that this is not the time to point fingers or become judgemental because you'll warrant the same attitude from your partner. 

5. Be intentional of every moment you spend together 

You never really value all that face time you had with your partner till you have to schedule video calls and chats. With that in mind, it is very important that you be intentional about every moment you spend together. This is not one of those days where they'll show up after a hard day's work and you get to have dinner and a brief chat before gluing yourselves to your various devices. Now, you really have to put the quality back in quality time, because you won't get more than that till further notice. While you're video calling, don't get distracted by things around you. 

That's not the time to scroll through your Instagram wall or answer emails, it is equally not the time to do the dishes or laundry. Try as much as possible to be present for at least 10 to 20 minutes. Does it sound like a lot of time? In the grand scale of things that is a fraction of all the time you have to get other things done within your day. So, ensure that you're not just having a routine conversation, try to get as deep as you can till you see each other again. 

6. Make solid plans for the future 

You may be sitting at home wondering 'can I see my boyfriend during lockdown?' Sure, there's no crime in wondering, but with the lockdown imposed by most countries, it is strongly prohibited. There are exceptions, but for the most part, you may have to wait till the coast is clear to see your beloved. While waiting for things to clear up don't riddle yourself with worries and anxiety about when and where. Rather make tangible plans that can give you something to look forward to when you finally see each other. You could lay down solid plans for that vacation you always wanted to take together. 

Sure, travel restrictions are a whole other ball game, but hopefully, you will find somewhere safe to visit with your significant other. You could equally plan a staycation or a nice brunch. It does not matter how small the plans are, they simply give you something to look forward to. 

7. Gather new skills together

The lockdown is the perfect time to learn new skills, especially in our fast-changing world. You can't deny that covid-19 brought about a new normal that isn't bound to change for some time. While some skills and industries as a whole have been rendered redundant, others are now well sought out for. You and your partner should not get left behind while trying to get your relationship on track. Learning new skills together is a way of killing two birds with one stone. On one hand, you get to spend more time with someone you care about and it broadens the horizon of your conversations. 

Then, on the other hand, you're upskilling and adding more value to yourself. Altogether, on both counts, you won't be so uncertain about your future. So, don't just sit at home, binging on movies and waiting for your one phone call per day. Take that extra leap and add some value to yourselves so you can make a formidable team when the lockdown is lifted. 

8. Work on yourself 

You may be wondering what this has to do with relationship management during a lockdown. Well, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. People will come and go, but you are in it with you till you draw your last breath. So, you have to learn how to treat yourself properly. Even more, if you aren't on good terms with yourself, you will find it difficult to treat another person properly. With that in mind, you need to take out time to work on areas you know you need a boost. This is one thing no one can do for you, so take it seriously. 

To Sum Things Up

It may seem impossible to keep the love alive when you're not even sure when you will see each other again. Especially during a lockdown situation, you may begin to wonder if you are truly in a relationship at all. Before you break it off or sabotage a good thing try some of the things listed above. These are tried and tested methods that may even have you feeling closer to your partner than you have ever been. Don't let a physical lockdown put a lock on your heart, you need people that love you more than ever. Not just for your mental wellbeing but your body will thank you as well. Hopefully, you've been able to glean a little bit of knowledge from this.

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